Loving isn't so Simple

I love my John with all of me but I find myself threatening  to leave and deleting his number every other three days I can't keep going with no passion. A relationship with passion could not make it a day without speaking and I wonder were has that passion gone. Or was it even here. I know I have turned into an emotional freak I care about the way you touch me, the way you hold me, the way you kiss me-- I cry at the feeling of me not being enough for you but more at the thought of someone else being just enough for you. Love -- I shouldn't love I shouldn't love not a soul because I have given a lot and never received anything but a 14k ring , a pearl set , and tons of heart feelings and two broken hearts. John says I ask to much of him  like I want him to be perfect. Answer me this -- is doing the right thing perfect or is the perfect thing right. Either way here I am with his number deleted and waiting on his call.

Boys are so complicated but the world says take them for what they do-- so if he does not call he does not wish to talk-- if you tell him whats wrong and he does not change he does not wish to please you your way. I would say thats why I soon shall seek a man but I have no expectations of them being much of a difference. 

Love 

Tottielove

Summer Time Fine

Summer time is here! The season for no clothes, drive-ins , and sleep ins. Being home from school has me thinking... when is school starting again. I hate waking up having nothing to do. I have made tons of goals, such as read at least three books , lose a couple of pounds, save a life, and so much more. The tv has consumed me my laptop has the handcuffs on tight and my fridge is holding me by my waste . I keep feeling the need to remodel my mother's house from watching HGTV day in and out.

I want to do something that could make me great---something like find a new part of me or create one.